2025 Commissioner's Preseason Power Rankings: Part 1

Well shit guys. I used my best theme idea on the ChatGPT rankings. I mean, what's better than a fucking 2025 Ford Mustang with the Midnight Pony package?

Since I can't come up with a theme, let's take a look at my rankings from last year and see how everyone ended up.

Preaseason:

12. Rusty - 6-8, 7th Place

11. Clint - 4-10, 8th Place

10. Aron - 6-8, 10th Place

9. Austin - 9-5, Thumper Bowl Champion

8. Bryan - 6-8, 9th Place

7. Kevin - 6-8, Last Place

6. Brady - 6-8, 11th Place

5. Chris - 7-7, 6th Place

4. Logan - 8-6, 2nd Place

3. Cord - 7-7, 5th Place

2. Dom - 11-3, 4th Place

First off, I got 5 of the 6 playoff teams correct. Round of applause for me. Yeah, I may have completely missed the eventual champ making the playoffs, but my rankings were pretty fucking good. 

Second, my bold predictions were pretty on point too. Check these out.

Justin Jefferson will be WR1 through the first 7 weeks. People questioned if Sam Darnold would hinder Jetta's season. Instead Jefferson started the season hot. I'm not going to do the math, but Jefferson definitely wasn't hindered early on. 

Travis Etienne finishes RB12 or worse. I don't even have to double check this one. I know Etienne finished RB36.

Laporta finishes TE3 or worse. This one mattered because Austin reached for him in the 2nd round. He finished TE7 with about 60% of the points that the top two, Bowers and Kittle ended with.

Drake London and George Pickens finish outside the top 24WRs. London ended up 5th, but Pickens was 42. That averages out for me.

Kelce and Majomes both finish outside the top 3 at their positions. Kelce was 6 and Mahomes was 11. Not good for Bryan. 

Jayden Daniels finishes as a top 7 QB. He finished 5th. Not bad for a 10th round pick.

I'm tired of clicking back and forth here through these but I'll leave on a terrible prediction for you.

None of Kevin's WRs will finish in the top 24. Those WRs would be:
- Flowers - 24th
- Sutton - 10th
- McConkey - 11th
- Jeudy - 15th
- Pittman - 46th but hurt most during the season

Let's get to the rankings.

12. Lyndon

Welcome to the league man. If this was "What team do I dislike the most right now? Rankings", I wouldn't have you in last. Here's the deal, I hate question marks in the preseason, and you have a lot of them. 

Can CMC stay healthy/ will he get a full load this year? Will Montgomery to have a large share of the Lions backfield? Is Bill Croskey actually a thing? Does Kyler finally make the next step or does he retire early to play COD? 

I do like your WRs a lot. Terry is the best WR on one of the most explosive offenses. Nico is still one of the best WRs in the league if he is fully healthy. Same thing can be said about Waddle and Aiyuk. 


Feels like a team that could finish last or win it all. Sucks everyone drafted so well this year. Makes it more difficult than usual.

11. Kevin

I'm only ranking you this far back for three reasons:

10. Austin

"But Brady, I just won the Thumper Bowl." Yeah, I don't really care. Your QBs suck. You have two WRs from the same team. Your bench is not inspiring at all. 

Honestly I probably would have put you last but your RBs saved you. Bijan and Cook will set and forget starters. Ford probably isn't losing that starting job unless Judkins decides to sign his contract anytime soon. Mixon is out for the season. Just cut him. He'll be a waste of space.

I'm sure you'll figure out something though.

9. Bryan

I'm going to be honest. I had Bryan ranked 10th and Austin would have been 9th. I wrote up an entire blurb about Bryan's team and why he was ranked 10th but I think I wrote over the entire thing for Austin's blurb. So congrats Bryan. You get to move up a spot. 

All I remember is that I said this was my "I hate this team at this time" team. I trust you to figure something out and rebuild it into a playoff contender. 

Top 2 WRs are great and Rice should be great when he's available. Josh Allen is obviously a top 3 QB. 

That's basically it. I hate the rest of your team. Jaylen Warren and Nick Chubb as your starting RBs is gross. 


That's it for tonight. I'll break down the top 8 tomorrow or Wednesday. Week 1 preview coming in the next couple of days too.